My 1st Mother’s Day: A mix of emotions

For years Mother’s Day focused on my mom. I have an AMAZING mother! Her caring spirit is one that I’ve always admired and try to emulate. I love her dearly and treasure the moments we get to spend together, as they don’t happen as often as I would like. {Mom in Pennsylvania + Me in Georgia = Spaced out visits}


The last several Mother’s Days have been ones that I’ve dreaded. Outside of honoring my lovely mother, the day was a reminder that I would never have the opportunity to be a birth mother. It’s a pain that you will never understand unless it is the life you live. One of the greatest things that infertility taught me was to chose my words wisely, as words can be hurtful even when the motive is not to hurt. I was reminded of this when I ran into Walmart this past Friday to get some medicine for Stella. As the cashier handed me my receipt, she said, “Happy Mother’s Day!”


WAIT…Stella was not with me. How did she know I was a mother?

It’s an assumption that society often places on married women who are of child-bearing age. An assumption that is extremely painful to hear, especially when your heart desires to be a birth mother, but you physically cannot.

So, this Mother’s Day weekend began with me on my knees, praying for the hearts of all of the woman who desire to be a birth mother, but are living in the darkness of infertility.  Each year I will begin Mother’s Day weekend praying for these women, some of which are friends.

Last year as Paul and I were in the process of adopting, I learned that the Saturday before Mother’s Day is a day that people in the adoptive/foster community honor birth mothers. A day that would forever hold a special meaning to me, which the following words describe so well.


These words are real and raw as I celebrate my first Mother’s Day. Their meaning elicits so much emotion in me today and will for a lifetime. For our family, Mother’s Day will definitely not just be a day, but rather a weekend. It’s not only about me {the Mama that gets the privilege to live life with Stella}, but also about a woman on the other side of the world that we will almost certainly never meet {her birth mother}.

 Today, MOTHER’S DAY 2015, was a wonderful day for this 1st time Mama! Not because of a material item, but rather because of the joy that filled my heart & the memories that were made. With the help of her Baba {okay, maybe he was the ultimate mastermind}, Stella and Paul made this day fabulous!! They showered me with treasures that spoke love to me beyond measure.

Version 2

* COOL, HANDMADE GIFT….CHECK!   Combination design by Baba & Stella, complete with HER OWN ‘I have only known English for 14 weeks’ handwriting {so proud of her–check out that name & year} and a personal drawing of Ga-Ga-Ga, the sheep that is her treasured friend from China.

stella art


* GIFT WITH SPECIAL MEANING…..CHECK!   It will soon be here! {Though I wont have a purple birthstone, but rather an aquamarine to represent Stella’s March birthday.}

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* MUSIC AS MY BACKGROUND VOCALS TO SING TO THE LORD….CHECK!   Not sure that Stella realizes her car DJ has something other than Frozen and Tangled to play now!


* PLAY TIME…..CHECK!   Stella loves to run towards me [while I yell, “go, go, go!” and she giggles] and have me scoop her up into my arms and hug. Our driveway has a little slope to it, so the added momentum means more excitement. It didn’t matter that we were in our “church clothes” today, it was just as fun!


The wait to celebrate my first Mother’s Day was hard and marked by tears, but the smiles, hugs and ‘Mama-Baba-Stella moments’ that happened today were pure bliss!


{{ A dear friend that I wish I could see more often, surprised me with a gift in the mail yesterday. I opened the package to find a card with a special handwritten note, the birds nest necklace you see above and Beth Moore’s book, Feathers From My Nest. Tears ran down my cheeks and my breath was taken away. Thank you, friend! }}


2 thoughts on “My 1st Mother’s Day: A mix of emotions

  1. Pingback: Baba’s Day | Everyday adventures of living by faith

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